I’m not sure why this is the first time I am writing any of my thoughts out in about 5 years. But I felt like it was time to do it. I don’t even know where to begin honestly. Life has felt chaotic, confusing, hard, defeating, and much more.. But I have also experience God’s many blessings in my life, and His victories triumph over all of the chaos and confusion. He brings me peace deeper than I can even understand.

I will give a quick run down of my life.

My childhood was: divorced parents – sexual trauma – broken homes.

My teen years were: loneliness – partying – promiscuity – anger.

My 20s were: Jesus? – first time mom – first marriage – divorce.

My 30s: well that’s where we are now. I’m 32 years old, and I want to get it together this decade. This will be my decade to let go and let God.

And they are the reason why..

We currently live in a homeless shelter. It’s not easy being a single mom of three girls who is lacking in life skills and still learning about herself. I just recently learned that I have BPD, or borderline personality disorder. It’s been a difficult adjustment, but I’ve also been able to take care of myself in a much different way than ever before. I’m on my journey of healing. Healing for me & healing for my girls.

And this guy ^ Teddy ^ he’s a keeper.

When I first met him.. I just knew there was something different. I mean – I had a crush on him before we met, but the first dinner was a memory I’ll never forget. The way he looked at me and we both giggled like little kids in love. I already knew that I loved him by then. I didn’t want the night to end. I also wanted to seek God and ask Him if Teddy was the right guy for me. I sought God and Teddy patiently waited for me to be ready for the next step as we continued to get to know one another. He has quickly become my best friend, and I am excited to go on this journey that God has mapped out for us.

So why am I writing again?

Basically I feel like God is calling me to share my story on His journey. Life can be a struggle bus, but only when I’m driving. Let Jesus take the wheel and drive that bus. Because I’m tired of driving  it.

I just hope that my story will help someone else in their journey and allow them to find freedom in Christ and healing in their life.

I’ll leave you with something that my pastor said this past Sunday,

“Stop trying to be more Christian and start being in Christ more.”